


Life After

by scarlettsgenericusername



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: All Ships, Blood of Olympus, Camp Half-Blood, Camp Jupiter, Jiper, caleo - Freeform, frazel - Freeform, percabeth, percy jackson - Freeform, solangelo, trials of apollo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 19:32:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7281823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlettsgenericusername/pseuds/scarlettsgenericusername
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story follows the life of the Seven, Reyna and Nico after the blood of olympus. Written as if trials of apollo didn't exist. Summary sucks but story is ways better, I promise!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life After

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!1!!!!!! This is one of my first fanfics. Any suggestions on how to improve would be greatly appreciated. I hope you guys enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> 

SHREK  
Once upon a time there was a lovely  
princess. But she had an enchantment  
upon her of a fearful sort which could  
only be broken by love's first kiss.  
She was locked away in a castle guarded  
by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.  
Many brave knights had attempted to  
free her from this dreadful prison,  
but non prevailed. She waited in the  
dragon's keep in the highest room of  
the tallest tower for her true love  
and true love's first kiss. (laughs)  
Like that's ever gonna happen. What  
a load of - (toilet flush)

Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his  
day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go  
after the ogre.

NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME

MAN1  
Think it's in there?

MAN2  
All right. Let's get it!

MAN1  
Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that  
thing can do to you?

MAN3  
Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's  
bread.

Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.

SHREK  
Yes, well, actually, that would be a  
giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse.  
They'll make a suit from your freshly  
peeled skin.

MEN  
No!

SHREK  
They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the  
jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's  
quite good on toast.

MAN1  
Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya!  
(waves the torch at Shrek.)

Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The  
men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long  
and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the  
men are in the dark.

SHREK  
This is the part where you run away.  
(The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)  
And stay out! (looks down and picks  
up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted.  
Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and  
throws the paper over his shoulder.)

 

THE NEXT DAY

There is a line of fairy tale creatures. The head of the guard  
sits at a table paying people for bringing the fairy tale creatures  
to him. There are cages all around. Some of the people in line  
are Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Gipetto  
who's carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer who is carrying the three  
little pigs.

GUARD  
All right. This one's full. Take it  
away! Move it along. Come on! Get up!

 

HEAD GUARD  
Next!

GUARD  
(taking the witch's broom) Give me that!  
Your flying days are over. (breaks the  
broom in half)

HEAD GUARD  
That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch.  
Next!

GUARD  
Get up! Come on!

HEAD GUARD  
Twenty pieces.

LITTLE BEAR  
(crying) This cage is too small.

DONKEY  
Please, don't turn me in. I'll never  
be stubborn again. I can change. Please!  
Give me another chance!

OLD WOMAN  
Oh, shut up. (jerks his rope)

DONKEY  
Oh!

HEAD GUARD  
Next! What have you got?

GIPETTO  
This little wooden puppet.

PINOCCHIO  
I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy. (his  
nose grows)

HEAD GUARD  
Five shillings for the possessed toy.  
Take it away.

PINOCCHIO  
Father, please! Don't let them do this!  
Help me!

Gipetto takes the money and walks off. The old woman steps up  
to the table.

HEAD GUARD  
Next! What have you got?

OLD WOMAN  
Well, I've got a talking donkey.

HEAD GUARD  
Right. Well, that's good for ten shillings,  
if you can prove it.

OLD WOMAN  
Oh, go ahead, little fella.

Donkey just looks up at her.

HEAD GUARD  
Well?

OLD WOMAN  
Oh, oh, he's just...he's just a little  
nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox.  
Talk, you boneheaded dolt...

HEAD GUARD  
That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!

 

OLD WOMAN  
No, no, he talks! He does. (pretends  
to be Donkey) I can talk. I love to  
talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing  
you ever saw.

HEAD GUARD  
Get her out of my sight.

OLD WOMAN  
No, no! I swear! Oh! He can talk!

The guards grab the old woman and she struggles with them. One  
of her legs flies out and kicks Tinkerbell out of Peter Pan's  
hands, and her cage drops on Donkey's head. He gets sprinkled  
with fairy dust and he's able to fly.

DONKEY  
Hey! I can fly!

PETER PAN  
He can fly!

3 LITTLE PIGS  
He can fly!

HEAD GUARD  
He can talk!

DONKEY  
Ha, ha! That's right, fool! Now I'm  
a flying, talking donkey. You might  
have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly  
but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey  
fly. Ha, ha! (the pixie dust begins  
to wear off) Uh-oh. (he begins to sink  
to the ground.)

He hits the ground with a thud.

HEAD GUARD  
Seize him! (Donkey takes of running.)  
After him!

GUARDS  
He's getting away! Get him! This way!  
Turn!

Donkey keeps running and he eventually runs into Shrek. Literally.  
Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him. Donkey looks scared  
for a moment then he spots the guards coming up the path. He  
quickly hides behind Shrek.

HEAD GUARD  
You there. Ogre!

SHREK  
Aye?

HEAD GUARD  
By the order of Lord Farquaad I am authorized  
to place you both under arrest and transport  
you to a designated resettlement facility.

 

SHREK  
Oh, really? You and what army?

He looks behind the guard and the guard turns to look as well  
and we see that the other men have run off. The guard tucks tail  
and runs off. Shrek laughs and goes back about his business and  
begins walking back to his cottage.

DONKEY  
Can I say something to you? Listen,  
you was really, really, really somethin'  
back here. Incredible!

SHREK  
Are you talkin' to...(he turns around  
and Donkey is gone) me? (he turns back  
around and Donkey is right in front  
of him.) Whoa!

DONKEY  
Yes. I was talkin' to you. Can I tell  
you that you that you was great back  
here? Those guards! They thought they  
was all of that. Then you showed up,  
and bam! They was trippin' over themselves  
like babes in the woods. That really  
made me feel good to see that.

SHREK  
Oh, that's great. Really.

DONKEY  
Man, it's good to be free.

SHREK  
Now, why don't you go celebrate your  
freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

 

DONKEY  
But, uh, I don't have any friends. And  
I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey,  
wait a minute! I got a great idea! I'll  
stick with you. You're mean, green,  
fightin' machine. Together we'll scare  
the spit out of anybody that crosses  
us.

Shrek turns and regards Donkey for a moment before roaring very  
loudly.

DONKEY  
Oh, wow! That was really scary. If you  
don't mind me sayin', if that don't  
work, your breath certainly will get  
the job done, 'cause you definitely  
need some Tic Tacs or something, 'cause  
you breath stinks! You almost burned  
the hair outta my nose, just like the  
time...(Shrek covers his mouth but Donkey  
continues to talk, so Shrek removes  
his hand.) ...then I ate some rotten  
berries. I had strong gases leaking  
out of my butt that day.

SHREK  
Why are you following me?

DONKEY  
I'll tell you why. (singing) 'Cause  
I'm all alone, There's no one here beside  
me, My problems have all gone, There's  
no one to deride me, But you gotta have  
faith...

SHREK  
Stop singing! It's no wonder you don't  
have any friends.

DONKEY  
Wow. Only a true friend would be that  
cruelly honest.

SHREK  
Listen, little donkey. Take a look at  
me. What am I?

DONKEY  
(looks all the way up at Shrek) Uh ...really  
tall?

SHREK  
No! I'm an ogre! You know. "Grab your  
torch and pitchforks." Doesn't that  
bother you?

DONKEY  
Nope.

SHREK  
Really?

DONKEY  
Really, really.

SHREK  
Oh.

DONKEY  
Man, I like you. What's you name?

SHREK  
Uh, Shrek.

DONKEY  
Shrek? Well, you know what I like about  
you, Shrek? You got that kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me  
thing. I like that. I respect that,  
Shrek. You all right. (They come over  
a hill and you can see Shrek's cottage.)  
Whoa! Look at that. Who'd want to live  
in place like that?

SHREK  
That would be my home.

DONKEY  
Oh! And it is lovely! Just beautiful.  
You know you are quite a decorator.  
It's amazing what you've done with such  
a modest budget. I like that boulder.  
That is a nice boulder. I guess you  
don't entertain much, do you?

SHREK  
I like my privacy.

DONKEY  
You know, I do too. That's another thing  
we have in common. Like I hate it when  
you got somebody in your face. You've  
trying to give them a hint, and they  
won't leave. There's that awkward silence.  
(awkward silence) Can I stay with you?

 

SHREK  
Uh, what?

DONKEY  
Can I stay with you, please?

SHREK  
(sarcastically) Of course!

DONKEY  
Really?

SHREK  
No.

DONKEY  
Please! I don't wanna go back there!  
You don't know what it's like to be  
considered a freak. (pause while he  
looks at Shrek) Well, maybe you do.  
But that's why we gotta stick together.  
You gotta let me stay! Please! Please!

 

SHREK  
Okay! Okay! But one night only.

DONKEY  
Ah! Thank you! (he runs inside the cottage)

 

SHREK  
What are you...? (Donkey hops up onto  
a chair.) No! No!

DONKEY  
This is gonna be fun! We can stay up  
late, swappin' manly stories, and in  
the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.

SHREK  
Oh!

DONKEY  
Where do, uh, I sleep?

SHREK  
(irritated) Outside!

DONKEY  
Oh, well, I guess that's cool. I mean,  
I don't know you, and you don't know  
me, so I guess outside is best, you  
know. Here I go. Good night. (Shrek  
slams the door.) (sigh) I mean, I do  
like the outdoors. I'm a donkey. I was  
born outside. I'll just be sitting by  
myself outside, I guess, you know. By  
myself, outside. I'm all alone...there's  
no one here beside me...

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry and I apologise for everything. {All rights belong to dreamworks and not me ofc}


End file.
